Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
