it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize