look no pants
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
