is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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