I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
