So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
