so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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