I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
