Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
