I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
