My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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