u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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