Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
