Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
