And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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