Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
