alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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