Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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(216): View more from Ohio

make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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(313): View more from Michigan

tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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(434): View more from Virginia

You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.

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