If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's official drugs can't kill me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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