first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
