I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
