I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
