so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
