wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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