I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
