I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
