We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
