just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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