She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
