Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
