You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
