come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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