I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
