My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
