Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
