i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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