GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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