he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
