you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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