I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
