needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
