Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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