I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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