id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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