I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
