i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
