i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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