You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
