anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
