Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
